A Fair Trade
by Scarlet Pikachu
Summary: There are things that can't be stolen, at least, not by all logic, they must be stolen in a proper manner, otherwise they won't really be yours. There are other ways of obtaining what you desire, perhaps by making a trade.  Oneshot. Warning, sex!


Okay, this contains yaoi(guy on guy action) and a lot of . . . hotness, don't flame unless you want me to use those flames to light your asses on fire!

This was inspired by several little chats on Deviantart and by a sudden craving for a good HTF yaoi oneshot on this site.

Hotness is guaranteed!

* * *

_I can't do this, he's going to catch me. I just know he'll catch me and then . . . I'll have to confess to everything. _Shifty edged closer to the window, his eyes wide with anxiety. He wanted to steal something tonight, steal from this house like he did nearly every night, his fingers twitched in anticipation.

It was weird really, Shifty enjoyed stealing from the person who lived there because he wanted their attention. He stole small things, because the one thing he wanted to steal most was impossible to touch. It was kept locked up, in a safe that even the greatest lock picker couldn't unlock. Gradually he stole more noticeable things, nothing like the T.V. set or the refrigerator, just . . . stuff.

The raccoon inhaled, twisting his hat nervously, he wanted to steal that one unstealable object, wanted to steal it so badly he lost hours and hours of sleep at night. He'd walk by the house at night, hoping, just hoping, that perhaps he could work up the guts to actually walk up to that door and knock on it, and then. . . well, he hoped he could talk to the male, but he'd probably flee before the door was opened.

All the lights were out, the house was quiet, it was time to walk inside and do his nightly routine.

He sighed, lifting the window up a bit, easing it open silently before slipping inside the dark building. _What should I take this time? What's next? _Suddenly he froze as a small creak reached his ears. His eyes widened as he scanned the room, surely he wouldn't get caught, every light had been out, who would be awake at such an ungodly hour? His hands went to the dog tags, one of the many that the one he stole from had. He loved them, it was a small trinket, a small reminder, a small hope.

This was no psychotic fascination, if he was told his feelings weren't returned, Shifty would leave, never come back, he'd never step within five feet of the house. Shifty had never lost his sanity, he knew that what he was doing was easy to perceive as obsessive, but his heart was so full of fear and hope, he couldn't care less.

He glanced about, hands still clutching the dog tags as he ran his fingers over the objects, thinking of one that wouldn't draw attention right away, but would be noticed. He sighed. _If only, if only. . . _He walked back to the window, the half-full moon was being outshone by the stars, he almost wondered if he'd ever shine bright like they did, him, a dusty thief among a treasure more valuable than gold.

"Shifty?" A voice murmured and the coon nearly leapt out of his own skin, whirling around he saw the silhouette of the one who he had become so obsessed with. Rather than flee he froze with terror, his eyes widening when the lights were turned on.

Evil stared at the male, or seemed to be, but his eyes were focused on the male's clenched paws. Shifty looked down and realized he still had a hold of the dog tags, he chuckled nervously and let his hands fall to his sides. "Ehehehehe."

"Where did you get those dog tags?" Evil asked curiously, then he seemed to pause for a few seconds, appearing to go into deep thought. "Wait, the dog tags, the silverware, have you been stealing those things all this time?" Evil's eyes suddenly hardened as he glared at the male.

Shifty trembled beneath Evil's gaze. "I- uh, yeah. . . " He lowered his head, his hands grasping at the dog tags nervously.

Evil eyed him, and it was in that moment that Shifty realized he hadn't been killed yet, Evil hadn't even seemed angry. He seemed almost impassive to the whole thing.

"Aren't you mad?" He asked, curiosity overpowering his fear.

"Yeah, but I kind of expect you to steal from people, the only thing I don't understand is why you're wearing a pair of my dog tags around your neck, and why do you keep grabbing them each time you fidget?" Evil's eyes narrowed in confusion, suddenly he seemed to stop and think again, his eyes shut and he snapped his fingers suddenly. "Aha, so let me think, something or other keeps going missing each night, so," he paused, eyes opening, "are you only interested in my house right now? What's in here that's so valuable?"

Shifty shrugged, "N-no-othing!"

Suddenly Evil let out a growl, "Damn it, Shifty, you're clearly lying."

Shifty stepped towards the window. "No I'm not!"

Evil growled, louder this time, his paws grabbing the male by the shoulders and pressing Shifty against a wall.

"E-Evil?" Shifty felt his heart speed up, he felt the bear's body as he pressed against him.

"Now tell me what's so damn valuable about my house? What are you after?"

Shifty shook his head wildly. "I don't know!"

Evil pressed up even more against him, trying to make him feel threatened. "You're lying!"

Shifty shook his head some more, he felt a blush cross his face, "N-No!"

"Damnit, tell me already!"

Shifty's hands pushed at Evil's chest as he struggled to break free. "L-Let me go!"

Evil pressed even harder, "Tell me damnit!"

Shifty shook his head even more before yelping and blushing.

Evil pulled back, clearly startled at the yelp. He hadn't even hurt the coon, so why had he yelped like that? He glanced at Shifty curiously. "Why are you blushing so damn much?"

The male pressed his legs together, shaking his head and stammering. "N-nn-n-no r-r-eason!"

Evil's eyes followed the coon's and that's when he noticed that Shifty was trying to hide an erecti- "Holy shit!" The bear exclaimed, stepping back even more.

Shifty blushed even brighter, "I-I can't help it! I-it's not my fault!"

"Not your fault? It's not my fault either!" Evil snapped, confused and pissed off at the same time.

Shifty growled, "YES it is!"

Evil's eyes widened in shock, "How?"

An awkward silence followed that question. It then became an awkward stare-down between the two, with Shifty constantly blushing, said male ended the stare by looking away. "Okay. . . " he murmured, hands clenching the dog tags "This is going to freak you out, but listen. . . I . . . I sort of have feelings for you and they've been getting stronger over time. . . "

Yellow-green eyes widened and a faint blush spread across Evil's face. "You, you have feelings for me?"

Shifty nodded slowly, "I guess you're going to kill me, right?"

". . . "

"Evil?"

The male suddenly looked at him, eyes full of confusion, anger, fury, and a hint of interest. He stepped closer, paws raised as he got a look that usually meant he was about to cause someone lots of pain.

"P-please don't kill me. . ." Shifty suddenly whined, genuine fear filling his chest, he turned his head away and bit his lip.

The male froze, startled half by the whine, half by a thought that was slowly becoming an idea. An idea so absurd it was logical. "I might not, but it depends on what you are willing to do for me to convince me to not kill you."

A shudder ran down his spine, one eye opened and gazed at the bear curiously. "W-what do yo-you mean 'do for you'?"

"I'm curious," He whispered, a finger tracing the side of Shifty's jaw, "what would you do to stay alive?"

Shaking at the touch and whimpering slightly, Shifty tried not to stammer, but it was a vain attempt. "I-I'd d-do anything . . . j-just don't k-k-kill me."

Evil's eyes glittered with desire, he ran his finger down Shifty's throat lightly before leaning forward and whispering into a green-furred ear, "Really? You'd do _anything_?"

A whine rose from the raccoon's throat as he tried to ignore the feelings of arousal and fear, he didn't know if Evil was purposefully making him feel hornier or not, but it was torture! "Yeesss! Yes, I'll do anything you want, anything at all, tell me and I'll do it!"

"Ah, good, now let me think. . ." Evil said, pulling away to stare at Shifty, a slight blush was across his face as he thought.

Suddenly Shifty let out a faint moan as Evil's hands touched his rear and pulled him closer to the bear, their chests touching. "Would you let me do that?" Evil asked, grinning deviously.

Shifty let out a gasp as the bear's hands squeezed his rear lightly. "Uh, ah, er. . . " His blush deepened, "sure . . . w-why not?"

Evil grinned widely, his pointy teeth bared as he leaned forward, his nose pressing against Shifty's. Said coon whimpered in puzzlement. "Exactly, well, if your response to that was why not, then how about I do this next?" He kissed the male, making Shifty's eyes widen before shutting half-way, the raccoon fought back a groan as Evil passionately ravaged his mouth.

When they pulled away, gasping, blushing, and still a bit surprised, Evil said, "So you would sneak in here, night after night, just to steal something, why?"

The male coon was too stunned to comprehend everything, his mind was in overdrive as he tried to figure out if all that passion that Evil's kiss had held was real, or just an act. " . . . It's stupid really, all I wanted was to get your attention without you knowing it was me."

"You did all that to get to me? You know, if you had just asked for my attention more obviously, I would've given you more of it."

"Huh?" The thief's ears flickered in confusion, he suddenly felt Evil's hands stop holding his rear and move along his spine, then he felt both hands as they rubbed his ears between a finger. Suddenly Shifty titled his head back, amazed at how relaxing it felt when his ears were massaged.

"Well, either way, that took a lot of guts and dedication, if only I had caught you sooner, I'd have done this long ago. . . " Evil replied, leaning forward, his teeth nibbling lightly upon Shifty's neck, making the coon purr with bliss.

Shifty's mind suddenly grasped the last words and their meaning, his eyes widened and he embraced the male, ringed tail twitching in excitement. "Th-that means. . . "

"Yeah, I've grown quite fond of you, Shifty. I sort of always . . . liked you, only not as a friend, as something more."

Shivering with happiness, Shifty wrapped his legs around Evil's waist, clinging tightly as the bear nibbled upon his neck more, occasionally Evil paused to kiss his lips and make the raccoon's heart skip a beat. "Th-that's so wonderful . . . I'm soo glad . . ." He sniffed, the feeling of his affection being returned making tears of joy run down his cheeks.

Evil smiled widely, he wiped the tears from Shifty's eyes before kissing him again. "You know, you did say I could do _anything_ to you as long as I didn't kill you, so. . . " He tilted his head towards the bedroom, giving the masked male a sly smirk and a wink.

Shifty looked at the bedroom blankly before realization hit, at that moment he blushed intensely and nodded his head. "Oh, really? You want to, you want to . . . " His face went so red that Evil could feel the warmth radiating off of him.

A bit annoyed at the non-answer, he loosened his hold slightly. "Well, I suppose if you don't want to-"

"NO!" Shifty shrieked, blushing even brighter now as he wrapped his tail around Evil's waist. "I want to! Please," His eyes got big as he pleaded, "please?"

A passionate kiss was his answer. Evil then grinned as his beloved raccoon gave him a loving embrace before letting go of him and running into the bedroom, a happy little laugh echoing throughout the place as he leapt onto the bed.

When he walked inside, Evil leaned against the door frame, eying the raccoon with an obvious lust. "Well, you certainly act like you are eager." He said.

Evil didn't know if his own erection had been noticed by Shifty, said male had such a dreamy look on his face that he seemed almost spaced out. Truth be told Shifty was just feeling wrapped up in the fantasy that was playing out right before him. Evil muffled a moan and tugged the edge of his jacket down a little bit. "Oh, yes, no denying the facts, I can tell you're eager, Shift."

Shifty nodded his head, his tail was wrapped around his waist as he laid there on his back. "I've wanted. . . " He paused, his ringed tail moving away from his waist, revealing an erection so prominent that Evil almost gasped. Shifty squirmed a bit, his eyes wide. "I've been hoping for this to happen someday for so long, I'm sorry if I seem too eager. . ."

"Don't be sorry," The bear replied, sitting down on the bed before crawling up on top of Shifty and kissing him passionately. His hand reached down, stroking the raccoon's length and making Shifty gasp and arch upward. "You look so handsome when you are in pleasure, Shifty, you look so sexy when you're in need of release too."

Blushing and squirming, the male nodded. "Th-thanks, Evil. . . you look handsome all the time." The thief quickly reached out and undid the bear's jacket, his deft hands working so fast it only took a second to undo the thing and soon it was discarded and tossed upon the floor, next he reached up for Evil's beret, pleading with his eyes before Evil nodded willingly and then said hat was tossed aside as well.

"Can I take off your hat, Shifty?" The dark male asked, rubbing the coon's ears gently.

"Mmm, suuuurre." Shifty purred, pressing against Evil and sighing with bliss. His ears twitched a bit as the fedora that marked the coon's authority was lifted away and sent flying to the floor.

Evil smile warmly and kissed Shifty again before grabbing the male's waist and lifting his rear up a bit. Evil's voice became more aggressive, "You really want this? I'm not sure if you're ready for it." it sounded like a challenge, but it was said in a sexy voice that negated the aggressive tone.

Shifty's eyes widened and a low moan escaped his lips as he nodded his head wildly. "Oh, I don't care if it hurts at first, it's what I want!"

Evil grinned widely, he lifted Shifty's rear up a bit more before he thrust forward, penetrating the male.

Shifty's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to cry out in pain, but Evil cut the male's scream off with a passionate kiss. Tears brimmed at the edges of Shifty's eyes as he whined into the kiss, his paws pulling Evil closer, claws digging a bit into the bear's back until finally his pain subsided.

"You okay, that wasn't too painful, was it?" Evil asked, having stayed still the whole time so as to allow the raccoon enough time to adjust to him. He didn't even care if the male had left scratches on his back.

Shifty looked up at him, eyes wide with love. "N-no, it wasn't too bad, I mean, I'm told that it always hurts the first few times and since that was my very first time. . . I'm fine now."

"You mean that was your first time doing this ever?" Evil asked, moving now, only slowly, watching Shifty's face for any signs of discomfort before he picked the pace up, thrusting a bit faster.

"Yeah. . . why?" Shifty replied, he shut his eyes and laid his head back, a soft moan escaping his mouth.

Evil thrust into the male a bit harder, making Shifty arch and moan in bliss. Grinning the dark bear said, "Well, if this is your first time, then that means we're both virgins."

"Oh. . . " The coon's eyes opened wide as he realized what had just been said. "You were still a virgin?"

"Yeah, mmm, why is that so surprising?"

Shifty blushed and threw his head back, arching and moaning in bliss. "B-because I just thought. . . I mean, you're so good at this. . . " He moaned more, his ringed tail twitching and flickering in ecstasy.

Evil laughed softly. "Well, heh, I guess. . . I'm just good at pleasing you, maybe you're the same way, we will have to see sometime, won't we?" He reached down, his hand stroking Shifty's length in sync with each of his thrusts.

Shifty moaned and arched his back, he wrapped his tail around his lover's waist and then wrapped his legs around Evil as well, doing everything he could to press even more of himself against the bear. "You mean I could do this. . . to you? Are you su-sure?"

Evil nodded, kissing him passionately and rubbing one of Shifty's ears happily. "Of course you can be on top sometimes, why not?"

"Evil. . . " Shifty purred, his head tilted back and eyes glazing over with desire.

"Yes, my little thief, what is it?" He replied, nipping at the kleptomaniac's exposed neck.

"Oh lord, I don't. . . I don't ever want this to stop!" Shifty replied, moaning and squirming as his climax neared.

"Well, it's going to end sometime, but we can always do this more, right?" Evil began thrusting even faster, fully aware of his approaching climax, he moaned softly, uttering the raccoon's name out loud repeatedly.

A high whine suddenly escaped Shifty's lips as he arched his back and orgasmed. "E-Eviiiiil!" He moaned, his claws digging into the male's back once again.

The sudden reaction and passionate cry of his name sent the bear over the edge, he threw his head back and moaned as he came. "Shiiifty!" After the name had escaped his mouth, he panted wildly and laid his head down upon Shifty's shuddering chest.

. . . They laid there for a few minutes, breathing heavily and enjoying their afterglows, then, Evil lifted his head up and stared into Shifty's eyes, a cheeky smirk on his face as he spoke. "Well, are you happy, little thief? You've finally stolen my most precious belonging."

Shifty almost squeaked in surprise, what had he stolen? "I-I don't understand, what did I steal? You mean your virginity?"

Evil laughed lightly, his mouth pressing against Shifty's as he kissed him again, his tongue ravaging the thief's mouth lovingly. "No, silly, you've stolen my heart."

Shifty blinked before he gasped and hugged Evil tighter. "You mean that?"

"You bet your tail I do!"

Shifty kissed Evil, putting every bit of passion he could into it and making the bear's mind dizzy. Shifty's tail waved a bit, trembling and twitching happily as he grinned widely. _YES! All this time I've wanted it, and now. . .now I have it, but I didn't steal it, for once in my life I didn't have to steal what I wanted to have most. . . _Realization dawned on him and he shook his head, "You're wrong Evil, I didn't steal your heart, it was a trade."

"A . . . trade?" Confusion filled the males yellow-green eyes.

Shifty smiled widely. "Yes, I traded my heart for yours, now you've got my heart and I've got yours."

Evil smiled back at the male. "Well. . . I'd say that we are even then. . . " He kissed Shifty once more.


End file.
